paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize