She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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