watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
