so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
