I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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