my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
