take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
