I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Randomize
