After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
