i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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