i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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