Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize