i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
pray to the hookup gods
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
