You're a womanizer and a bitch.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize