Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
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Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
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It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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