I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
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I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
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If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
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