Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
