Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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