In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
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