I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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