Old men and throwing up are my life now.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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