you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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