Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
