I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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