Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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