guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
