Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Dignity is for republicans.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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