just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
