He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
