Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
