How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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