there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
