He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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