Got a toothbrush?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
