My friends, they love my intelligence
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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