So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
