5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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