I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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