well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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