Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
I'm eating all of the evidence.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
