I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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