I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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