john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
