so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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