Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
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Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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