She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
How naked do you want me to be?
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