The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
