I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
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