I have demons in me.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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