I saw his package. It spoke to me.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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