i think my tv is drunk
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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