new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
