dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
