Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Randomize
