I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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