I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
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shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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