Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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