YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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