Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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