Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(423): View more from Tennessee

2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place

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(423) 2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place http://tfl.nu/hlr5

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(517): View more from Michigan

Alarm just got pulled in my exam

(517): View more from Michigan

Swear it wasn't me

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(517): Alarm just got pulled in my exam (517): Swear it wasn't me http://tfl.nu/3yrm

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(914): View more from New York

so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling

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(914): so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling http://tfl.nu/v4vu

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(216): View more from Ohio

I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.

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(216): I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous. http://tfl.nu/a664

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(865): View more from Tennessee

Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.

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(865): Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010. http://tfl.nu/w6c7

Replies (11) Good night (5871) Bad night (577)
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.

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(484): we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song. http://tfl.nu/huqy

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(217): View more from Illinois

I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.

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(217): I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral. http://tfl.nu/5sn1

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(505): View more from New Mexico

I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation

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(505): I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation http://tfl.nu/u5tc

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(661): View more from California

The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.

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(661): The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me. http://tfl.nu/fztu

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(248): View more from Michigan

Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?

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(248): Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door? http://tfl.nu/ayiv

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(815): View more from Illinois

You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.

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(815): You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever. http://tfl.nu/5xks

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(813): View more from Florida

I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass

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(813): I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass http://tfl.nu/xapu

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(864): View more from South Carolina

Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.

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(864): Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that. http://tfl.nu/ou7s

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(206): View more from Washington

Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed

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(206): Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed http://tfl.nu/3k2a

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(416): View more from Toronto

How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?

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(416): How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard? http://tfl.nu/770q

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