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2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
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