At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches