bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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