roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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