Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
