oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
