I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
so let's talk penis.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
not ubering you a puppy
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
