I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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