Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
