she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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