I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Everclear isn't food dammit
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
