Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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