did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
