don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
